I am three weeks late with this essay I will not apologise; there is a life to live and much to do. Running the business, attending weekend events and the occasional social interaction, every day adds up and soon becomes a month. It is of no concern if a day is one of work, problem solving or arduous. Each one has its special moments, every hour is rewarding. If my essay is a little late, forgive me I am a busy man.
We have to experience fear to understand it. It is not a cinema seat, horror film moment. Nor is fear the fairground ride designed to awaken every nerve in our body. The greatest fear is not death; it is the journey to the final sleep.
Some people fear to be broke, without a relationship, the driving test or growing old. Allow me to dissolve the illusion, each one of these examples is solvable, repairable or inevitable. The disease has a different connotation; it set’s many seeds of possibilities within the imagination. Some words contain possible death warrants, cancer or septicaemia are two examples, and believe me, fear sets in when this pair come to play in the garden of health. It is the journey which holds the fear, not the destination.
How do we cope with the word ‘fear’? We do so by accepting it, not fighting it. Don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll put on a brave persona’ acting out the character of being without fear is hard work, and inevitably the performance wanes. When I said to my friend ‘Of course I am frightened’ the words freed him from either embarrassment or commenting ‘I think it will be alright.’ How would anyone know the outcome of the sickness? We should realise the problem with kind words; the sentiments prolong the deception. However when we say ‘Of course there is fear’ we demonstrate a facing of the facts, not an admission of weakness. The master key is, by accepting the reality, our courage overwhelms the fear.
The emotion known as fear cannot prosper when a factual appraisal of a situation is made. As we accept the circumstances; courage begins to overwhelm the fear. The reader could consider the idea as too simplistic. To do so, will mean missing an opportunity to deal with the most negative aspect of serious illness. Acceptance leaves no space for ‘what if’ and ‘maybe.’ The reality is when internal dialogue says ‘What if I die?’ or ‘Maybe the illness will go away’ there is no acceptance of the situation. When self-talk says ‘My disease is life threatening. I will work with the professionals and give myself every opportunity to become well’ this is the reality.
Never be in denial, it is a typical and unhelpful attitude. To deny anything is a self-deception. Consider it is possible serious illness became more grave or even untreatable because of a denial of symptoms. During my illness, there was no escaping the reality of the situation. In fact during the final year my wife Carol could never be confident of me waking from my night’s rest. There had been a few ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybe’s’ during the early days. Later, I realised reality and fact are better companions. I could not deny the symptoms of the disease. The feeling of helplessness very near overwhelmed my existence, this only happened once or twice. A determination live each day in the best possible way became my focal point.
There will be times when doubts enter the mind, although doubt is preferable to fear. When this occurs, refer to considering the facts of your situation. The consultant diagnoses the illness; he will offer suggestions for different treatments. The patient decides which course to take and the journey begins. Now the reader will understand it is the journey, not the destination which causes the feeling of fear.
When deciding to follow the idea that fact overwhelms fiction, and fear is the seed of courage the journey becomes easier and purposeful. At this marker do your best to live life as normally a possible. During my illness, I continued to work in our business and live as normal a life as possible. Even on days when the imps of doubt began to cause mischief, I forced myself to continue. Never give up, always consider today and tomorrow, go no further, as speculation is the of little use.
Now I am fit and well, my days are never dull or wasted. I watch many people spend their lives doing nothing. How strange the truth; when we have encountered the possibility of the final sleep. We realise life is extended by activity. The man who lives a life of sloth may live a for 100 years, and in truth, he lives for a day. The man who exists for 60 years and enjoys each day, lives a lifetime.
Live life – Be happy